Thursday, October 13, 2011

The Reality in the Mirror

I haven’t been posting as often, which means that even with my crazy schedule, I have found a few hours every morning to work on this book.  It’s progressing in a more linear fashion, which is probably good although the temptation to skip around is hard to resist.  I’m posting a short passage from Pages in the Wind, which touches on facing reality, and in a later posting, disassociation.  Emily is maturing, and she is beginning to question what is happening to her.  She is starting to realize that something isn’t right.  She feels alone, her beloved grandma is gone and she has been away from Reid for ten years.  After a particularly gruesome incident, she passes herself in the mirror and has a reaction that changes the way she sees herself.

I shut the door, and double-checked to make sure that I had locked it.  Walking to my bed, I caught a glimpse of myself in the bureau mirror.  I wanted to keep walking and pretend that nothing happened, but something inside of me couldn’t.  I usually pushed it away, and pulled out something within me to keep going like nothing happened.  This time, I walked to the mirror without resisting the urge to turn away.  I don’t know if I was just too tired of pretending that I was okay, or if I wanted to face that image in the mirror.  I felt as though all of my resolve to fight to be happy had drained out of me, leaving me tired and alone.  I felt defeated, like a wounded soldier on the battlefield with nothing but dead comrades around him, knowing that there was no one there to rescue him.  I felt like that soldier, half dead but still alive knowing that his wounds were too severe to survive without help.  I was that hopeless soldier, slowly feeling the life drain from my body and knowing that there was no one there to save me.

As gruesome as it sounds, this jolt of reality is an important component to her psyche.  In my next posting, Emily will reach inward to find strength.  A seed will be planted.  How that seed grows will fuel the rest of the story. 




11 comments:

  1. Thats a powerful post and the way you write I can actually feel what your character is going through. I can't wait to see what happens next! Your writing sure does make me think!

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  2. Your writing is so descriptive, and I can feel everything you say when you write, expecally as it relates to Emily. So moving, and her character is a definite statement over what abuse does in our society. It should be a must-read for anyone that has suffered from abuse. I've been following the story, and cant wait to see what happens next.

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  3. Awesome post. what will happen next? I have been watching with great interest at her plight. Stopping by to let you know that I'm a fan....

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  4. I relate to your character, being someone that doesn't face things. Its not easier becauseit always comes back to haunt me. Ive been following your posts, far apart as they are, they do resonate with me. Looking forward to the finished product. Keep going, good luck with your work.

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  5. I love gaining the insight you provide, I always look forward to reading your posts. Your creativity and the emotion behind the story amaze me. My invisible hat is off to you as always!

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  6. Great post, sad but true. i have felt that same feeling and it is the worst kind of detachment that I can imagine someone feeling. You've captured this in your writing and i can't wait to see where this takes her. Lovely lovely work.

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  7. Love your blog. I can see how people relate to your characters, not just Emily but also to the villians. Great way that you blend the characters without being obvious. Its a great read and look forward to reading the finished product.

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  8. I think this is her break out moment, which will push her into facing whatever she has to fac.e I have been in that position and is scary but so necessary. great post.

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  9. Thisis a great read. The characters are interesting, especially the character of Emily. I look forward to learning what happens, you have most certainly intrigued me. Tell me more!

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  10. I think this is a turning point for Emily, that she can not turn away. It sounds like she is looking at who she really is and why. This is unfolding very interesting and I will be on the list to buy the book, kindle or ? I want to see what happens with Emily.

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  11. Wonderful imagery, great blog. That point when she looks in the mirror and doesn't walk is very telling. It's a great story and cant wait to read your new book.

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