Some people are open books, and some open the book enough for us to see a paragraph or two. I suppose that the difference lies mainly in the personality, but I have little doubt that some is based on life experiences. Let’s face it, some of us skate through life relatively unscathed. Some of us have experiences that change us, make us more guarded. The guarded ones - the private ones, can confuse us. Unfortunately, sometimes the “blanks” are filled in using our own experiences - which are biased and often inaccurate. We see this in Pages in the Wind, when Emily tries to figure out her brother and his various moods.
I rubbed my eyes trying to figure out who Robert really is — the sweet boy that helped me or the irritable boy that just walked out of here. I leaned back in my chair deep in thought, and realized that he is probably both. The second one scares me, because it’s a side of him that he doesn’t want anyone to see - a kink in his armor. There is something in his eyes that I see when he doesn’t know I’m looking at him. It’s always been there at one time or another, and I know what it is - it’s fear. Maybe being the perfect kid all the time has it’s own burden.
Emily got the fear right, but not the reason for the fear. She can’t know because she hasn’t seen it. I find myself becoming much less judgmental the older I get. Too often I have found that what I thought was true - just wasn’t. Avoiding conjecture and biased interpretations is a challenge, for sure. I have learned that it’s better to wait - let the truth unfold - with my eyes open and not clouded with false interpretations. I’m a work in progress - but I’m trying.