Monday, June 14, 2010

Author's Notes - Antidote to Evil?

In Pages in the Wind, Emily uses her vivid imagination to escape her abusive father. Her gentle nature cannot accommodate her fathers brutality, so she clings to what she perceives as good to counteract her fathers cruelty . Emily chooses to push the damage out of her young mind, and uses her imagination as an antidote to the evil she witnesses at the hands of her father. One of Emily's antidotes is the church. After a particularly vile episode with her father, Emily goes to the Catholic Church and escapes into an array of beauty and tradition that seems to calm her:

Emily's head was throbbing with pain, and she fought hard to bear it as she told herself it would end. She looked at the floor next to her and saw clumps of her golden hair. Her patent leather purse was flung open, and her crystal rosary was lying on the floor. Humiliated, she gently picked up the rosary, and with tearful eyes she stared at it as if to gain strength from the symbol of Jesus on the cross. She picked up the rosary, held it to her cheek, and placed it back in her purse. She grabbed the stool to put the hatbox back on the shelf. Somberly, she marched back to where the family had gathered to make the drive to church.

Emily walked into the church behind her parents, ensuring that she did not have to sit beside her father. Once seated in the wooden pew, she gazed at the majestic scene around her. She watched the candles flicker in the corner of the chapel and wondered what secrets burned in the hearts of the people that lit them and prayed. Her eyes were drawn to the stained glass, and the tranquil faces created in the glass. She watched the bolts of colors from the stained glass form a prism around the walls of the church, dancing and forming light-created rainbows.  As the colors performed, she watched the colliding rainbows gain strength as each flowed into the other.  The beams of colored light framed the sacred faces of the stained glass which fascinated Emily.  She was especially fixated on the image of the Virgin Mary. Her face was serious yet radiant as she held the baby Jesus. She marveled at her long flowing hair and the eyes that held a secret that would change the world forever. As she stared at the fluid images, she felt her anxieties fade and her body relax. It was a comfort to know that there were elements in the world that were inherently beautiful. 

I wonder if we all have antidotes to the trauma or difficulties in our lives. Is the absence of an antidote a certain road to destruction? What would Emily do without her grandma, and her own vivid imagination? In Pages in the Wind, the church is a safe place for her and it feeds her creativity and need to find the purpose of her existence. Emily uses her imagination to amplify what gives her strength to offset the brutality of her father. I just wonder if it will be enough...........

As a footnote for thought, have you used antidotes in your own life to shield you from difficulties? Much like a bite from a rattlesnake needs an antidote to counteract the venom, isn't that what we do? If there were no remedy to the poison of the rattlesnake, we would probably avoid going where the rattlesnakes live. But what if we couldn't? What if we could not avoid living in the same proximity of the poison? What then?


  1. Im so happy to see another log. Your story of Emily is compelling and worthy of a movie. I can't wait to read the book in its entirety. Emily is someone that a lot of people can relate to.

  2. Hi, i sent you a longer note on reader's notes. So interesting your story and I would love to see the character of Emily conquer her evil father. It is so much like others that go through this type of abuse and your book will have much to offer in the way of understanding what goes on with abused children. Your writing is beautiful.

  3. Im following you on google reader. Great piece, it just gets better. Im starting at the beginning. You're awesome.


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