Friday, July 27, 2012


Most of us manufacture reasons to excuse the behavior of the major players in our lives.  As simple as it sounds, sometimes the truth just hurts too much.  We see this in Pages in the Wind, as Emily searches for a reason that her relationship with her mother is so barren.

Mother gave me a conciliatory smile that said "oh well" as she turned to follow father. As I leaned against the doorway to my bedroom, I wondered if father demanded so much of her time and she had nothing left to me.  I couldn't help but blame him for her inability to embrace me as a daughter.  She always held me at arm's length, like she spent hours perfecting her beauty for a fancy soiree and had a dirty toddler begging to be held. 

It's so easy to get caught in this trap - I've done it many times, though not with my own mother.  I've made excuses in other relationships, and once to a disastrous conclusion.  It definitely changed me in ways that I wish I could have avoided.  The flip side is that I did learn a hard lesson, and am hyper-vigilant to not repeat it.  

I wonder if you have made excuses for the key players in your life, only to wish that you hadn't.  It doesn't even have to be a family member — mine wasn't, and the painful result was devastating.  I'm listening to my inner voice more clearly now, and letting my brain overrule my heart when it needs too.  Still, even with the lessons I learned — that's one lesson I would have preferred to avoid altogether.


  1. I've been thinking about the same general topic as of late, and even wrote about a similar topic, yesterday. Very beautiful thoughts.

  2. Very nice writing and blog. I look at your posts a lot, very interesting!

  3. Great blog post to read. Today, I just watch this movie and wondering why did the Dark Knight rises.

  4. Hello Sally,
    I too am writing a book about abuse as it starts in childhood and carries through four decades of life. I feel that pain in your storyline and wish you the very best of everything. The half way mark is great. The rest will follow quicker than you think. I would love to talk. My e-mail address is

    Rosemary "Mamie" Adkins

  5. I am also a writer and love what you have written and the subject manner of your book and the way you are handling the subject. It is so well written and the characters so well formed. I look forward to buying the hard cover when you have it done. Good luck to you in your writing.

  6. Your writing is beautiful, it moves me. I am a child of abuse and I really connect with your writing. I just wanted to tell you, thank you

  7. I found your blog under google, and have become fascinated! I hope you post when the book is finished, I'm interested in seeing what happens It is a very important subject and you handle it with a lot of drama and character!!!

  8. Thank you for your post, it is thoughtful and sure makes me think about how I do that. Its easy to fall into the trap of making excuses for those we love. When it gets to the state where there is permanent scarring, its time to get out. Thank you for the writing.


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