Thursday, December 20, 2012

A World of Pairs

I wrote this several weeks ago, about "couples" and how difficult it is to be alone during the holidays.  This passage was discarded as happens during the editing process, but the truth of it stands.  In Pages in the Wind, Emily struggles with feelings of isolation and loneliness in a world of "pairs."

I tried to relax as much as someone can relax on the metal mall chairs.  Looking out at the mall shoppers, holding shopping bags and walking in and out of stores, one thing was readily apparent - pairs.  Pairs were everywhere; friends laughing and chatting, couples holding hands and occasionally stopping to look in the windows.  The world is made up of pairs, paired up as friends, lovers, mothers with their children, husbands with their wives.  That's the way it's meant to be, the world is not supposed to be traveled alone - and from the day we're born we scramble to find someone to pair up with.

As the story evolves, this isolation will prove to be far deeper than she could have imagined.....

Monday, December 10, 2012

Self Worth

Struggles with self-worth - many a therapist's couch has been worn out on that one.  We see this in Pages in the Wind, as Emily tries to fully embrace love.

My overwhelming love for Reid was inexplicably tied to my desire for him to love me.  I was still that starstruck girl sitting on the curb waiting for him, clinging to every second that I could spend with him.  Still, here he was telling me he loved me, so I pushed the insecurities out of my head and pretended to be good enough, pretty enough, and interesting enough to be with him.

Emily's insecurities send her on a never-ending quest to prove that she's worthy of love - and worthy of Reid.  She's tied her self-worth to what she sees in Reid's eyes, instead of her own.  How this plays out in the coming chapters may surprise you.